Work-Memory

 

Self-Observation and the Possibility of Change

Unquestionably, each person has their own particular Psychology; yet, people never think about this, and many never accept it; because they are trapped within the sensory mind.

However, when someone begins to self-observe, it is an unmistakable sign that they have accepted the tremendous reality of their own Psychology.

Clearly, no one would attempt self-observation without having previously found a fundamental reason to do so. Someone who begins to self-observe becomes very different from others and this, in fact, indicates the possibility for change.

Unfortunately, people do not want to change; they are content with the state in which they live. It pains one to see how people are born, grow, reproduce like animals, suffer indescribably and die without ever knowing why.

To change is fundamental, but it is impossible if we do not begin psychological self-observation. We need to start seeing that our purpose is to acquire self-knowledge, since in truth rational humanoids do not know themselves.

 
When one discovers a psychological defect, a great step has actually been taken, because this allows one to study and even radically eliminate that defect.

Worst of all is that we do not know how to measure the dreadful reality of any defect; we always look at it superficially without due attention. We see it as something unimportant.

When we accept the ‘Doctrine of the Many’ and understand the crude reality of the seven demons that Jesus the Christ drove from the body of Mary Magdalene, then obviously, our way of thinking (with regard to psychological defects) undergoes a fundamental change.

It is not at all pleasant to find out that within each person there lives hundreds and thousands of psychological people. Each psychological defect (each Ego or “I”) is a different person existing within us, here and now.

The seven demons that the great Master Jesus the Christ threw out of the body of Mary Magdalene are the seven deadly sins: anger, greed, lust, envy, pride, laziness, and gluttony.

Naturally, each one of these demons separately is the head of a legion.

 
In the ancient Egypt of the Pharaohs, an Initiate had to eliminate the ‘red demons of SET’ from their inner nature if he or she wanted to achieve the awakening of consciousness.

Considering the reality of psychological defects, the aspirant longs for change. They do not want to continue in the state in which they live (with so many people within their psyche) and so they then begin to self-observe.

-paraphrase of Ch.13 “Work-Memory”
in The Great Rebellion by Samael Aun Weor

 

Mental Photographs and our Conception or Image of Ourselves

When a person comes to realize the necessity not only for self-study and self-observation, but also for work on themselves with the object of changing themselves, then the character of their self-observation must change.

They have, so far, studied the details of the work of the centers: trying only to register this or that phenomenon, to be an impartial witness. They have studied the work of the machine.

Now they must begin to see themselves, that is to say: to see, not separate details, not the work of small wheels and levers, but to see everything taken together as a whole — the whole of themselves such as they are seen from the outside by others.

For this purpose a person must learn to take what could be called ‘mental photographs’ of themselves at different moments of their life and in different emotional states: and not photographs of details, but photographs of the whole as they saw it.

In other words these photographs must contain simultaneously everything that a person can see in themselves at a given moment: Emotions, moods, thoughts, sensations, postures, movements, tones of voice, facial expressions, and so on.

If a person succeeds in seizing interesting moments for these photographs, then they will very soon collect a whole album of pictures of themselves which, taken together, will show them quite clearly what he or she is.

But it is not so easy to learn how to take these photographs at the most interesting and characteristic moments, how to catch characteristic postures, characteristic facial expressions, characteristic emotions, and characteristic thoughts.

If the photographs are taken successfully and if there is a sufficient number of them, then a person will see that their usual conception of themselves, with which they have lived from year to year, is very far from reality.

Instead of the person he or she had supposed themselves to be, they will see quite another person or persons. This ‘other’ person or persons is they themselves and, at the same time, it is not.

It is them as other people know them, as they imagine themselves to be, and as they appear: in their actions, words, and so on; but not altogether such as they actually are.

A person knows that there is a great deal that is unreal, invented, and artificial in this ‘other’ person (whom others know and whom he or she does not know). We must learn to divide the real from the invented.

And to begin self-observation and self-study it is necessary to divide oneself. A person must realize that they indeed consists of two parts: the real and the invented…

One is the person they call ‘I’ and whom others call by their given name.

The other is the real Self, which appears in their life only for very short moments and which can become firm and permanent only after a very lengthy period of work.

So long as a person takes themselves as one person they will never move from where they are.

Their work on themselves starts from the moment when they begin to feel themselves as not being one…

-paraphrase of Ch 8.3 in In Search of the Miraculous
by Peter Ouspensky

 

Attitude and External Considering

The question may arise: “How can we make use of the observations we have made on ourselves?”

You must realize that you can do nothing in regard to changing yourself unless you observe yourself.

Self-observation must precede all change of oneself. This is because: you cannot change what you do not observe.

To observe a thing in yourself is to know it. This begins self-knowledge and the first step in self-knowledge is to see that you are not one.

If you know nothing of yourself and your many I’s then how can you change yourself? You have to see what is meant here very clearly.

Here are some answers to the above question:
        • The observations that we have made help us to have aim . They give us force to go on working.
        • Our observations begin to create Work-memory . They cause an alarm-bell to ring next time the event happens. We can observe the same thing more deeply next time. They increase consciousness .
        • Our observations will make us less mechanical next time.
        • Our observations help us to see our being.

-paraphrase of the Lecture “Birdlip, July 17, 1943 – COMMENTARY ON SELF-OBSERVATION AND I’s III”
[from Vol. 1] of Psychological Commentaries on the Teaching of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky by Nicoll

 

What is “Work-Memory”?

As we are, Self-Observation is a very small thing, but quite essential, like carrying a tiny light through a big dark house and seeing one thing after another.

After a time memory —that is, Work-memory (or memory created through conscious effort in Self-Observation) —may connect together all these separate small illuminations into something bigger.

This means that a person begins to take ‘photographs’ of themselves: they begin to observe themselves over a period of time, altogether, seeing a bigger picture.

From this moment on, they can begin to catch a glimpse of their Chief Feature; they can begin to see strands running through their life. They begin to see patterns in the carpet of their life.

-paraphrase of the Lecture “Birdlip, October 21, 1944 – SELF-OBSERVATION AND SELF-REMEMBERING”
[from Vol. 2] of Psychological Commentaries on the Teaching of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky by Nicoll

 

A Special Form of Photography

We cannot admit the possibility of continuous observation. However, regarding self-observation, often we do not really observe ourselves afresh, but in a stale way, by associations…

We observe what we always observe—a dull process without light.

If we practiced observing each center, a little light would enter in. If we observe in ourselves what we see in another, much more light enters. In that case, it certainly ceases to be associative self-observation (which of course is not observation but a mechanical process).

All self-observation of any use to us is conscious. These conscious self-observations are, as was said, not continuous observations. They are to be regarded as discrete, discontinuous events of a very special kind that ordinarily people rarely experience.

These separate events, however, undergo definite arrangement. They are put in order and form a special memory which has been termed Work-memory . Without it, personal work is at a minimum.

This ordering of conscious observations of oneself is the work of centers themselves, and must be left to them, because any interference by the formatory part of Intellectual Center can spoil their right arrangement.

Many observations are emotionally or sensationally connected, for example, that formatorily we would not believe possible. The result of all this inner hidden work of arranging is that we may come to have whole-plate photographs of ourselves—say one, or perhaps two, after many years.

Nothing more valuable can come into our possession than one of these full-size photographs.

By the possession of one of these photographs, pieced together by the work of centers from hundreds of brief, but conscious, snap-shot self-observations, we are saved from the unconscious power of everything represented in that photograph.

We know that the object of self-observation is to let the light of consciousness into what lies in darkness within us.

We are unconscious of all that lies in darkness in us. Unconsciousness is darkness, and darkness is unconsciousness. The only remedy is consciousness, which is light.

Light overcomes darkness. For a long time we do not understand what this means…

We know that whatever we bring into the light of consciousness loses the power it has over us if it remains unconscious —that is, in our inner, unexplored darkness. Operating from our darkness it can have very great power and extraordinary fascination.

People cannot connect light with consciousness, because the words are different. And for that reason they do not comprehend self-observation or what it is for.

They do not grasp that, unless we let the light of consciousness increasingly into ourselves, we cannot change.

All that we are unconscious of within, all that lies in the darkness of unconsciousness in us, remains unchanged and as active as ever.

-paraphrase of the Lecture “Amwell, 19.7.52 – THE WORK AS A SPECIAL FORM OF PHOTOGRAPHY”
[from Vol. 5] of Psychological Commentaries on the Teaching of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky by Nicoll

 

The Light of the Consciousness and Psychological ‘Photographs’

Now all the Work is based on Consciousness—on the power of Consciousness to balance and thereby heal us.

Once a thing that we were unaware of is made properly conscious and is seen in relation to other things that are conscious already, it becomes its right size and fits into its proper place or is seen as ridiculous and thereby robbed of power.

This is balance through consciousness. Then, it no longer can play the role of some violent or evil bandit waging a guerilla-war in the hinterland of consciousness.

It is the same with the action of buffers which prevent full consciousness and so real conscience.

Some of you must know by now that you have inner contradictions that are eventually bound to lead to a fall (like the house divided against itself, which cannot stand).

The two sides of the contradictions must be brought together often into the light of consciousness. There is no other remedy. The remedy is precisely simultaneous light—not light on one and then on the other.

Now to return to the most valuable thing we can possess: this big-picture photograph. It was said that we are saved from the unconscious power of everything represented in it.

This is because whatever is represented in that big photograph is what we have made conscious by a momentary beam of observation. That is, consciousness over many years has touched every part of it.

However, the organization of all these snapshot observations, these discontinuous personal events, into a full-size photograph is not one’s own work. We did not see the connections of our observations.

But something in us did and finally presented us with the photograph. “This”, it says, “is one aspect of your life that can no longer imprison you.”

We did not see all the relations between one part and another that we can now trace in the ‘big photograph’. The big photograph is the fitting-together of all these separate and apparently unrelated snapshots into a living whole.

That which had power over us and that we had to serve (as long as it remained in the darkness of unconsciousness) has come into the light.

A living-time photograph of this kind is beyond any powers of description in words because (like everything else coming from Higher Centers) it has a double-significance and a double-use.

It is enough to say that what was in darkness has been brought into the light, and what one was unconscious of has now become conscious.

From this point of view it can be said that this Work teaches a special kind of photography .

I know that if one became possessed of even one of these full-sized photographs one could never undergo an absolute recurrence of the life.

With a single ‘psychological photograph’ to study, one could never be as before, and objective consciousness would not be far away.

-paraphrase of the Lecture “Amwell, 19.7.52 – THE WORK AS A SPECIAL FORM OF PHOTOGRAPHY”
[from Vol. 5] of Psychological Commentaries on the Teaching of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky by Nicoll

 

Self-Observation and Insight

Now let me point out a few things that apply to everyone: If we were fully conscious we would not need this Work. It would not exist on this planet. But we are not fully conscious.

If we were, then we would be fully conscious of our neighbors and they of us. We would then see ourselves in others and others in ourselves. Likewise, hatred and wars would cease, among other things.

You must each reach and are expected to reach the state of insight into seeing that there is very much in you that takes charge of you and that you are unconscious of.

If you cannot see this then, probably, you will feel mutinous and resist the Work (either openly or silently) as some do.

Try to realize your need for the Work. Try to realize, even theoretically, that there are many ‘people’ in you that you are not conscious of and therefore know nothing about. These ‘people’ continually overpower you and make you do and say just what they wish, so that you cannot call your life your own.

 
Never believe you are a well-balanced person. That belief makes you stiff and slow. You are one-sided; and the more one-sided you are: the more will you think you are balanced.

Remember that a balanced person is many-sided and flexible. Notice you do not behave consciously all the time by any manner of means. If you believe you do, you are simply a fool and fast asleep. You are not what you think you are.

But you are many things that you do not think you are and there are many things that you are not yet conscious of. It does not require much increase of consciousness through self-observation for you to begin to suspect this actually is the case. One should suspect oneself, not others.

Now it is useless to hold out against these few general statements taken from the Work. To do so may point merely to offended dignity, which is commonplace, or to something more serious.

The Work, of course, is the reverse of flattering to you or me or anyone else.

Let me remind you finally that Gurdjieff said (apart from other things) that we must move our brains every day. He also said that this Work is to make us think in a new way — both about ourselves and life on this planet.

We tend to sit in the semi-putrid atmosphere of our small minds with every window shut, clasping onto an appallingly hideous Imaginary ‘I’ that is continually squealing or grabbing at something that does not belong to it. This is the extent of our consciousness. This is a person in the 2nd State of Consciousness.

-paraphrase of the Lecture “Amwell, 19.7.52 – THE WORK AS A SPECIAL FORM OF PHOTOGRAPHY”
[from Vol. 5] of Psychological Commentaries on the Teaching of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky by Nicoll

 

Self-Observation and Sincerity

If a person can be, even to a slight extent, sincere with themselves and really wants to know the truth, then they can find an exact and infallible basis for judging rightly about themselves and others.

But the whole point lies in being sincere with oneself. And this is by no means easy. People do not understand that sincerity must be learned. They imagine that to be sincere or not to be sincere depends upon their desire or decision.

But how can a person be sincere with themselves when in actual fact they sincerely do not see what they ought to see in themselves?

 
As we have already said, people very often think that if they begin to struggle with considering within themselves it will make them ‘insincere’ and they are afraid of this because they think that in this event they will be losing something, losing a part of themselves.

In this case the same thing takes place as in attempts to struggle against the outward expression of unpleasant emotions.

The sole difference is that in one case a man struggles with the outward expression of emotions and in the other case with an inner manifestation of perhaps the same emotions.

This fear of losing sincerity is of course self-deception, one of those formulas of lying upon which human weaknesses are based.

A person cannot help identifying and considering inwardly and they cannot help expressing their unpleasant emotions, simply because they are weak.

Identifying, considering, the expressing of unpleasant emotions, are manifestations of a person’s weakness, their impotence, their inability to control themselves.

But not wishing to acknowledge this weakness to themselves, they calls it ‘sincerity’ or ‘honesty’ and they tell themselves that they do not want to struggle against sincerity, whereas in fact they are unable to struggle against their weaknesses.

Sincerity and honesty are in reality something quite different.

What a person calls ‘sincerity’ in this case is, in reality, simply being unwilling to restrain themselves.

And deep down inside him a person is aware of this. But they lie to themselves when they say that they do not want to lose sincerity.

-paraphrase of Ch 8.3 in In Search of the Miraculous
by Peter Ouspensky

 

Identification and Self-Remembering

Self-observation brings a person to the realization of the fact that they do not remember themselves.

A person’s inability to remember themselves is one of the chief and most characteristic features of their being and the cause of everything else in them.

The inability to remember oneself finds expression in many ways.

A person does not remember their decisions, they do not remember the promises they have made (even to themselves), they do not remember what they said or felt a month, a week, a day, or even an hour ago.

They begin work of some kind and after a certain lapse of time they do not remember why they began it. This happens particularly often in connection with work on oneself.

A person can remember a promise given to another person only with the help of artificial associations, associations which have been educated into them, and these, in their turn, are connected with conceptions which are also artificially created of ‘honor’, ‘honesty’, ‘duty’, and so on.

But speaking in general one can say, truthfully, that if a person remembers one thing, then they forget ten other things which are much more important for them to remember.

And a person particularly easily forgets what relates to themselves and the Work, those ‘mental photographs’ of themselves which they have previously taken.

And this deprives a person’s views and opinions of any stability and precision.

A person does not remember what they have thought or what they have said; and they do not remember how they thought or how they spoke.

This, in its turn, is connected with one of the fundamental characteristics of a person’s attitude towards themselves and to all their surroundings.

Namely, one’s constant ‘identification’ with what at a given moment has attracted his attention, his thoughts or his desires, and his imagination.

‘Identification’ is so common a quality that for purposes of observation it is difficult to separate it from everything else.

People are always in a state of identification, only the object of identification changes.

A person identifies with a small problem which confronts them and they completely forget the great aims with which they began their work.

They identify with one thought and forget other thoughts; they are identified with one feeling, with one mood, and forget their own wider thoughts, emotions, and moods.

In work upon oneself, people are so much identified with separate aims that they fail to see the trees from the forest. Two or three trees nearest to them represent for them the whole forest.

 
Identifying is the chief obstacle to self-remembering.

A person who identifies with anything is unable to remember themselves.

In order to remember oneself it is necessary first of all not to identify.

But in order to learn not to identify person must first of all not be identified with themselves, must not call themselves ‘I’ always and on all occasions.

They must remember that there are two people within, one with whom we must struggle and whom we must conquer if we wish to attain anything.

So long as a person identifies or can be identified, they are the slave of everything that can happen to them.

Freedom is first of all freedom from identification.

-paraphrase of Ch 8.3 in In Search of the Miraculous
by Peter Ouspensky

 

Order in the Interior Work

As we progress in our interior work, we can verify for ourselves an interesting order in the system of elimination.

One is astonished when one discovers that there is an order in the work related to the elimination of the multiple psychic aggregates that personify our errors.

What is most interesting about all of this, is that such an order in the elimination of defects comes about gradually, and is processed according to the Dialectic of Consciousness.

The dialectic of reasoning will never surpass the formidable work of the dialectic of consciousness.

In time, the facts show us that the psychological order in the work of eliminating defects is established by our own profound inner Being.

We must clarify that a radical difference exists between the Ego and the Being.

The “I” can never establish an order in psychological matters since it is, in itself, the result of disorder.

Only the Being has the power to establish order in our psyche. The Being is the Being. The reason for the Being to be is to be the Being Himself.

Order in the work of self-observation, judgment, and elimination of our psychic aggregates gradually becomes evident through the judicious sense of psychological self-observation.

All human beings have a sense of psychological self-observation in a latent state, but this sense develops gradually to the extent that we put it to use.

Such a sense allows us to perceive directly, and not through simple intellectual associations, the diverse “I’s” that live within our psyches.

The sense of psychological self-observation allows us to fully verify the terrible subjective reality of our diverse aggregates.

The establishment of a successive order of the different parts of the work related to this extremely serious subject of eliminating the psychic aggregates, allows us to generate a work memory. This is quite interesting, and even extremely useful in the question of interior development.

-paraphrase of Ch.13 “Work-Memory”
in The Great Rebellion by Samael Aun Weor

 

Work-Memory and Psychological Photographs

This work-memory can certainly give us distinct ‘psychological photography’ of the different stages of our past. As a whole, it will bring to our imagination a vivid and even repugnant imprint of what we were before beginning the radical psycho-transforming work.

There is no doubt that we would never wish to return to that horrifying image, that vivid representation of what we once were.

From this point, such ‘psychological photography’ is useful as a means of confrontation between a transformed present and a regressive, stale, clumsy and unfortunate past.

Work memory is always recorded on the basis of successive psychological events registered by the center of psychological self-observation.

In our psyche there are undesirable elements, the existence of which we do not suspect in the least.

For an honest man (honorable and worthy of respect, incapable of taking anything that does not belong to him) to unwillingly discover a series of thieving “I’s” inhabiting the deepest regions of his own psyche is shocking… but not impossible.

A splendid woman (abundant in great virtues, or with exquisite spirituality and excellent education) may unwillingly discover through the sense of self-observation that groups of prostitutes live within her intimate psyche. Such a thought is sickening and unacceptable to any righteous citizen’s intellectual center or moral sense. However, all of this is possible within the precise field of psychological self-observation.

-paraphrase of Ch.13 “Work-Memory”
in The Great Rebellion by Samael Aun Weor

 

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